Day 14: Listening and hearing

I heard you. But did you really?

Being in quarantine with my family for 3 months has brought some interesting times. I have a great sense of guilt some days, we are safe, have food security and health. We have our jobs and are currently being paid. We have internet and eLearning to keep our minds engaged. We have amazing support but what we are missing are smaller but much more important things.

Cuddles. Cuddles are not as frequent, we are being bombarded by messages of social distancing and we are in each other’s spaces all the time so we want to be alone but really what we need to do is start hugging and touching again – just to be connected to someone else and feel included and loved.

Quality time v quantity time – we have a lot of time together in this house. A lot of time. We are fortunate enough to have space where we can retreat and find solitude for Zooming or working but I wonder about how to spend more quality time with my family that brings us together rather than separates us out. What could we include in our daily routine besides meal times and check-ins? And how do you say ‘yes’ to a game or activity when you are so tired and have so much work you need to do yourself or want to zone out quietly?

Are we listening to each other – with focus, attention, phone-less and practicing our listening body langauge? Or are we just hearing as part of the backdrop of busy noise that goes on in our house? How do I ask my family how they are doing in a way that will give them time and space to reply honestly when we are living in such a weird time? I feel as the generational pin between my family and my parents that so much of this emotional support falls to me and some days it is just a little hard.